Thursday, May 19, 2011

Kindergarten For Adults

The past month or so we have discovered that a lot of the observations we make and the people we write about continue to do the same thing every single day; like walking four across on a sidewalk so people can’t get by or people not reading very obvious and specific signs. Therefore, we have decided to write only when we have observed new material.

This past weekend we observed a multitude of people who had lacked the simplest form of common sense; to the point of one adult talking to multiple adults with a kindergarten demeanor. A little background information on the past weekend includes that Zozo and I ran in a marathon relay this weekend and within the course were five exchange zones. The rules state that when you are ready to exchange to the next runner, it must be within the gated zone not forty yards in front of it or ten yards behind it. A simple rule to follow right!?! Well apparently that was a little bit too difficult for many to follow; especially after race volunteers told them at least ten times while I was standing there waiting for Zozo to tag me. People just continued to exchange forty yards in front of the zoned area. That was just the beginning! While all of that was going on, race volunteers had to tell people to move back so that runners could get through and not get interrupted by someone crowding the zone area and that the exchanges could occur hassle free. Not only did the race volunteers announce this multiple times but one with a microphone literally said, “If you cannot listen to simple instructions people, I will talk to you as if you were a bunch of kindergartners.” Yet, everyone continued to move forward; narrowing the exchange zone. Lastly, as more runners started to come in to tag their teammates, people were asked to stay on the curb so not only could people exchange without a hassle but so people could see if their teammate was coming. Yet, of course the majority of people did not listen and I could see the frustration in the volunteers eyes. I just stood their in complete frustration that so many adults could not follow easy instructions. It's time to go back to kindergarten to learn simple listening skills. These are the very people that have kids and their kids will grow up to be just as bad. Be afraid be very afraid!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

E Pluribus Unum

One of the basics we learn while growing up is the currency of our country. Heck, we practiced writing checks in elementary school. Therefore, here in the USA we should know that we have paper money and metal coin money. We have dollar bills, five dollar bills, fifty dollar bills, etc.We have nickles, dimes, etc. Some less common currency we have are two dollar bills and dollar coins. People who use parking machines or public transportation get dollar coins back as change if they use five dollar bills or higher.

Last week I was in a store and witnessed a girl who was ringing up people having a bit of a problem taking a customers money. From where I'm standing I can see that the woman was trying to pay with some dollar coins. The girl behind the counter just stared at them and said, “ I don’t get it?” The lady who she was ringing up was from a foreign country, knew little English, with a heavy accent knew what these coins were and tried to explain that she got them from the light rail as change. The girl still didn't understand. I just stared in shock at the twenty something girl who was completely lost. Maybe if I wasn't so dumbfounded I would have jumped in and helped the girl. Finally, a sympathetic co-worker came over to help and explained that they were dollar coins. I suppose it's possible that this girl had never seen a dollar coin, but does that mean she can't read either. Right on the coin it says "ONE DOLLAR." The room just got a little brighter by the light bulb that went on in the girls heads at the realization that the dollar coin was actual money used by actual people here in good ol' Amerika.




Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

'Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.' --Albert Camus

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just watch the video

I will simply set this up with, just watch the video first. Or at least the first 60secs or so.




Wow, for once in my life, I'm actually speechless. How dumb do you have to be to A) break into someone's home then B) call the cops on yourself?!? Too bad the owners didn't own a gun and shot the guy out of self defense. That way this guy wouldn't procreate, cause heaven knows we don't need any more idiots like him. Here's a tip...A) Don't break into a house. B) If you do and you get caught, smash a window, run out the back, something, anything other than call the cops!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Water Tight?...I Think Not!

Usually when I get an idea in my head, I test it out before I go through with it to see if it will work. However, not many people do that. Instead many people just do whatever they are planning to do and see the erroneous result; even if someone mentions that it probably wont work.

Style events are very common among retail stores. These events are held to get new customers in the door and to get more people to spend more money by offering free snacks, beverages and coupons from other stores and even sometimes these events have DJ’s. A great marketing idea really! Nonetheless, that is all well and good until there is a soaked table cloth and a puddle of water from melted ice!

It was the start of the day. The store opened at ten o’ clock and my managers (who I love to death) wanted to make the drinks look all fancy in ice in a clear plastic containers. Well these plastic containers are used to hold scarves and accessories. When they explained to me what they were planning to do., I immediately thought um those containers aren’t water tight. I told them they probably wouldn’t want to use those and that they would probably leak. Well ignoring my keen sense, they did it anyway. Thirty to forty-five minutes later, one of my managers comes back in a panic and screams my name. I answer and she explains that the entire table cloth is soaked and from the melted ice which GUESS WHAT…..leaked from the oh so surprising not water tight containers. All I could do was laugh my head off and give a big fat I TOLD YA SO! 
 


Common sense tip of the week: Put a small size amount of water in a container to see if it leaks before you proceed to put it out among clothing that potentially could get soaked. Or listen to someone who has a pretty good idea that it probably won't work.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Warning:

I think we all remember back in the 90's when a woman spilled McDonalds coffee on herself and was burned. She then proceeded to sue the company, that's right sue McDonalds, for not warning her that her coffee was hot. Really...really? Honestly, I try not to think about how idiots minds work. Who in their right mind would complain that their COFFEE was HOT?!?

That said, of course the woman won and now anytime you get coffee from McDonalds there is a lovely warning label: Caution Contents May Be Hot. Thank you, I wouldn't have known without the warning. Here are some other absurd labels that forbes.com has discovered:

 
Jabra Drive 'N' Talk
Jabra Drive 'N' Talk
Label: Never operate your speakerphone while driving.  
Product: Jabra Drive 'N' Talk.














Nuts
Peanuts
Label: This product may contain nuts.
Product: Peanuts & Peanut M&Ms.













Chainsaw
Chainsaw

Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.
Product: Chainsaw.
  




















Hair Dryer
Hair dryer

Label: Do not use while sleeping.
Product: Hair dryer.














Blow torch
Blow torch
Label: Contents may catch fire.
Product: Blow torch gas bottle.
 









Sun shades
Sun shade
Label: Do not drive with sun shield in place.
Product: Reflective cardboard sun shades for car dashboards.











Eggs
Eggs
Label: This product may contain eggs.
Product: A carton of eggs.
 









Nytol sleeping pills
Nytol sleeping pills
Label: May cause drowsiness.
  














Staple's letter opener
Staples's letter opener
Label: Safety goggles recommended.
Product: Staples's letter opener.
 











Vanishing Marker
Vanishing Marker
Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.
Product: W.H. Collins' Vanishing Fabric Markers.
  









Jet Ski
Jet Ski
Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.
Product: Jet Ski.
 










Washing machine
Washing machine
Label: Do not put any person in this washer.
Product: Huebsch Washing Machine.
  








Dremel Multipro's rotary tools
Dremel Multipro rotary tools
Label: This product is not intended for use as a dental drill.









Apple's iPod shuffle.
Apple's iPod shuffle
Label (on website): Do not eat.
  









Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans
Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans
Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.
  







My personal favorite, is the carton of eggs, "This product may contain eggs." Watch out, eggs that...wait for it, wait for it, contain.....EGGS! Haha, What is this world coming to?


Until Next Time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Monday, February 28, 2011

Up!

Living in the great state of Colorado, many of us have the opportunity to regularly enjoy outdoor winter activities, such as skiing, snowboarding, etc. Which of course means this weeks story comes from a man in Wyoming.

JACKSON HOLE, Wyo., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Officials with a Wyoming ski resort said no charges will be filed against a 78-year-old man arrested while trying to ski uphill.

Jackson Hole Mountain Resort officials said Ronald Fleck was arrested Feb. 5 after ski patrol members spent 3 1/2 hours attempting to convince the man to turn around while he was trying to ski uphill to watch his granddaughter's ski race, the Jackson Hole Daily reported Monday.

Fleck was arrested on suspicion of trespass, interference, unsafe skiing and theft of services. However, Jerry Blann, president of the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, said no charges will be pressed.

"Once he was removed, the safety issue, which was our primary concern, was removed," Blann said Friday.

Teton County Sheriff Jim Whalen said his department is dropping the matter.

"Pretty much from the beginning of this thing, we didn't see any reason to move forward with the criminal prosecution," he said. "We're fine with it."

Skiing uphill, that's a new one. Wouldn't gravity be your first clue that you should be going downhill. And if not downhill, then simply across. But up? I would wear myself out trying to get up a hill on skis, not to mention I would have given up after an hour, max. But three and a half attempted hours of uphill skiing? He must have a lot of time on his hands. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take the ski lift up? I'll try to give this guy a break and chalk this one up to senility, seeing as he is 78.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

'The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.' --Harlan Ellison
http://dalje.com/en-world/no-charges-for-uphill-skier/341322

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You Can't Have Chips Without The Salsa!

I have never worked in the restaurant industry but I imagine it to be very similar to retail; having to deal with people and pretty much catering to the patrons every need. It also proves that the lack of common sense lingers pretty much in every job category known to man. The simplest of things seem to difficult for some.

I went to dinner with a friend of mine and we had ordered one of my favorite things to eat, chips and salsa. After we had both ate our dinner we couldn’t stomach another chip so I decided to take the yummy delicious left over chips and salsa home. When the waitress came by to take our plates out of the way, I asked if we could get a box for the left over chips and salsa while even using a circling hand motion above the scrumptious delicacy; concluding that I wanted all of it. Hence the general question of, “Can I get a box for the leftovers.” The waitress comes back with just a bag for the chips and proceeds to ask if I wanted a container for the salsa as well. Really?!?! Who wants to take home plain old tortilla chips without the salsa for one and two isn’t the salsa part of the leftovers that I so conveniently implied by making hand motions above the entire basket? Either this place is really stingy about giving their salsa away or the waitress is just a plain moron. I presume it’s the second statement.


Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com