Get out there and Vote!

This weeks blog is dedicated to an awesome lady; my grandma Dorothy, who passed away last week at the age of 87. She was a follower of Common Sense Ain't So Common. I know she got a kick out of our blog because she was a complete smart-ass and realist herself. She would tell you like it was, be as blunt as she could be and was respected for it even though it might not have been something you wanted to hear. In the end she was completely right. I love and miss you Grams. Leggy J

With 2010 over that means...you guessed it, all the nominees for the Darwin Awards are in. Head on over to www.darwinawards.com to read the top contenders and cast your votes. Our two personal favorites are Textbook Double Darwin and Glacier Erasure.

Textbook Double Darwin:

Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?

That's the whole picture: A young couple, driving along Via Dutra, the largest freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog. The couple decided that this was the time to park (for "dating" according to the charming Google translation) and, yes, they parked on the freeway in the right-hand lane, not on the shoulder, the median, or at a gas station. Naturally, given time a cargo truck encountered a "speed bump," instantly killing both -- during the act of procreation -- double-double Darwin Award! (2) people making (2) obviously bad decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing. Textbook!

Bahahaha, apparently the urge hit so hard that they had to stop mid lane to get it on. The least they could have done is pulled over to the shoulder. But I suppose if they had, there is a good chance that they would have had a baby. And if you are not smart enough to know that STOPPING on any highway is a bad idea, then you shouldn't be allowed to raise a child. What are you gonna teach the kid...that it's a-o-k to put your hand in a fire (reference to last week's blog). Clearly these two weren't meant to procreate and we are thankful for that!

Glacier Erasure:

Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.

In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.

Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.

Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, "Are you OK?"

"Yes!" came the answer.

Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.

There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.

Hmmm, I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes, so......JUMP! For all those with common sense, let's rewind this scenario. I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes. "What do you see?" "Can you move?" "Can you get back up?" "How can I help?" "Should I go get help?" Any variations of these questions should come to mind. But then we wouldn't have been stupid enough to jump off a cliff either, thus ridding the world of yet another barnacle head.

So what have we learned today?

1) Don't stop in the middle of the highway.

2) Don't jump off a cliff because someone tells you they are ok.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

"Look before you leap."