Kindergarten For Adults

The past month or so we have discovered that a lot of the observations we make and the people we write about continue to do the same thing every single day; like walking four across on a sidewalk so people can’t get by or people not reading very obvious and specific signs. Therefore, we have decided to write only when we have observed new material.

This past weekend we observed a multitude of people who had lacked the simplest form of common sense; to the point of one adult talking to multiple adults with a kindergarten demeanor. A little background information on the past weekend includes that Zozo and I ran in a marathon relay this weekend and within the course were five exchange zones. The rules state that when you are ready to exchange to the next runner, it must be within the gated zone not forty yards in front of it or ten yards behind it. A simple rule to follow right!?! Well apparently that was a little bit too difficult for many to follow; especially after race volunteers told them at least ten times while I was standing there waiting for Zozo to tag me. People just continued to exchange forty yards in front of the zoned area. That was just the beginning! While all of that was going on, race volunteers had to tell people to move back so that runners could get through and not get interrupted by someone crowding the zone area and that the exchanges could occur hassle free. Not only did the race volunteers announce this multiple times but one with a microphone literally said, “If you cannot listen to simple instructions people, I will talk to you as if you were a bunch of kindergartners.” Yet, everyone continued to move forward; narrowing the exchange zone. Lastly, as more runners started to come in to tag their teammates, people were asked to stay on the curb so not only could people exchange without a hassle but so people could see if their teammate was coming. Yet, of course the majority of people did not listen and I could see the frustration in the volunteers eyes. I just stood their in complete frustration that so many adults could not follow easy instructions. It's time to go back to kindergarten to learn simple listening skills. These are the very people that have kids and their kids will grow up to be just as bad. Be afraid be very afraid!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

E Pluribus Unum

One of the basics we learn while growing up is the currency of our country. Heck, we practiced writing checks in elementary school. Therefore, here in the USA we should know that we have paper money and metal coin money. We have dollar bills, five dollar bills, fifty dollar bills, etc.We have nickles, dimes, etc. Some less common currency we have are two dollar bills and dollar coins. People who use parking machines or public transportation get dollar coins back as change if they use five dollar bills or higher.

Last week I was in a store and witnessed a girl who was ringing up people having a bit of a problem taking a customers money. From where I'm standing I can see that the woman was trying to pay with some dollar coins. The girl behind the counter just stared at them and said, “ I don’t get it?” The lady who she was ringing up was from a foreign country, knew little English, with a heavy accent knew what these coins were and tried to explain that she got them from the light rail as change. The girl still didn't understand. I just stared in shock at the twenty something girl who was completely lost. Maybe if I wasn't so dumbfounded I would have jumped in and helped the girl. Finally, a sympathetic co-worker came over to help and explained that they were dollar coins. I suppose it's possible that this girl had never seen a dollar coin, but does that mean she can't read either. Right on the coin it says "ONE DOLLAR." The room just got a little brighter by the light bulb that went on in the girls heads at the realization that the dollar coin was actual money used by actual people here in good ol' Amerika.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

Csaintsc@gmail.com

'Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.' --Albert Camus

Just watch the video

I will simply set this up with, just watch the video first. Or at least the first 60secs or so.

Wow, for once in my life, I'm actually speechless. How dumb do you have to be to A) break into someone's home then B) call the cops on yourself?!? Too bad the owners didn't own a gun and shot the guy out of self defense. That way this guy wouldn't procreate, cause heaven knows we don't need any more idiots like him. Here's a tip...A) Don't break into a house. B) If you do and you get caught, smash a window, run out the back, something, anything other than call the cops!

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Water Tight?...I Think Not!

Usually when I get an idea in my head, I test it out before I go through with it to see if it will work. However, not many people do that. Instead many people just do whatever they are planning to do and see the erroneous result; even if someone mentions that it probably wont work.

Style events are very common among retail stores. These events are held to get new customers in the door and to get more people to spend more money by offering free snacks, beverages and coupons from other stores and even sometimes these events have DJ’s. A great marketing idea really! Nonetheless, that is all well and good until there is a soaked table cloth and a puddle of water from melted ice!

It was the start of the day. The store opened at ten o’ clock and my managers (who I love to death) wanted to make the drinks look all fancy in ice in a clear plastic containers. Well these plastic containers are used to hold scarves and accessories. When they explained to me what they were planning to do., I immediately thought um those containers aren’t water tight. I told them they probably wouldn’t want to use those and that they would probably leak. Well ignoring my keen sense, they did it anyway. Thirty to forty-five minutes later, one of my managers comes back in a panic and screams my name. I answer and she explains that the entire table cloth is soaked and from the melted ice which GUESS WHAT…..leaked from the oh so surprising not water tight containers. All I could do was laugh my head off and give a big fat I TOLD YA SO!  

Common sense tip of the week: Put a small size amount of water in a container to see if it leaks before you proceed to put it out among clothing that potentially could get soaked. Or listen to someone who has a pretty good idea that it probably won't work.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

Warning:

I think we all remember back in the 90's when a woman spilled McDonalds coffee on herself and was burned. She then proceeded to sue the company, that's right sue McDonalds, for not warning her that her coffee was hot. Really...really? Honestly, I try not to think about how idiots minds work. Who in their right mind would complain that their COFFEE was HOT?!?

That said, of course the woman won and now anytime you get coffee from McDonalds there is a lovely warning label: Caution Contents May Be Hot. Thank you, I wouldn't have known without the warning. Here are some other absurd labels that forbes.com has discovered:

 

Jabra Drive 'N' Talk

Label: Never operate your speakerphone while driving.  

Product: Jabra Drive 'N' Talk.

Peanuts

Label: This product may contain nuts.

Product: Peanuts & Peanut M&Ms.

Chainsaw

Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.

Product: Chainsaw.

  

Hair dryer

Label: Do not use while sleeping.

Product: Hair dryer.

Blow torch

Label: Contents may catch fire.

Product: Blow torch gas bottle.

 

Sun shade

Label: Do not drive with sun shield in place.

Product: Reflective cardboard sun shades for car dashboards.

Eggs

Label: This product may contain eggs.

Product: A carton of eggs.

 

Nytol sleeping pills

Label: May cause drowsiness.

Product: Nytol sleeping pills.

  

Staples's letter opener

Label: Safety goggles recommended.

Product: Staples's letter opener.

 

Vanishing Marker

Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.

Product: W.H. Collins' Vanishing Fabric Markers.

  

Jet Ski

Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.

Product: Jet Ski.

 

Washing machine

Label: Do not put any person in this washer.

Product: Huebsch Washing Machine.

  

Dremel Multipro rotary tools

Label: This product is not intended for use as a dental drill.

Product: Dremel Multipro rotary tools.

Apple's iPod shuffle

Label (on website): Do not eat.

Product: Apple's iPod shuffle.

  

Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans

Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.

Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans.

  

My personal favorite, is the carton of eggs, "This product may contain eggs." Watch out, eggs that...wait for it, wait for it, contain.....EGGS! Haha, What is this world coming to?

Until Next Time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

article: http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/553/25-stunningly-dumb-warning-labels/

Up!

Living in the great state of Colorado, many of us have the opportunity to regularly enjoy outdoor winter activities, such as skiing, snowboarding, etc. Which of course means this weeks story comes from a man in Wyoming.

JACKSON HOLE, Wyo., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Officials with a Wyoming ski resort said no charges will be filed against a 78-year-old man arrested while trying to ski uphill.

Jackson Hole Mountain Resort officials said Ronald Fleck was arrested Feb. 5 after ski patrol members spent 3 1/2 hours attempting to convince the man to turn around while he was trying to ski uphill to watch his granddaughter's ski race, the Jackson Hole Daily reported Monday.

Fleck was arrested on suspicion of trespass, interference, unsafe skiing and theft of services. However, Jerry Blann, president of the Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, said no charges will be pressed.

"Once he was removed, the safety issue, which was our primary concern, was removed," Blann said Friday.

Teton County Sheriff Jim Whalen said his department is dropping the matter.

"Pretty much from the beginning of this thing, we didn't see any reason to move forward with the criminal prosecution," he said. "We're fine with it."

Skiing uphill, that's a new one. Wouldn't gravity be your first clue that you should be going downhill. And if not downhill, then simply across. But up? I would wear myself out trying to get up a hill on skis, not to mention I would have given up after an hour, max. But three and a half attempted hours of uphill skiing? He must have a lot of time on his hands. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take the ski lift up? I'll try to give this guy a break and chalk this one up to senility, seeing as he is 78.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

'The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.' --Harlan Ellison
http://dalje.com/en-world/no-charges-for-uphill-skier/341322

You Can't Have Chips Without The Salsa!

I have never worked in the restaurant industry but I imagine it to be very similar to retail; having to deal with people and pretty much catering to the patrons every need. It also proves that the lack of common sense lingers pretty much in every job category known to man. The simplest of things seem to difficult for some.

I went to dinner with a friend of mine and we had ordered one of my favorite things to eat, chips and salsa. After we had both ate our dinner we couldn’t stomach another chip so I decided to take the yummy delicious left over chips and salsa home. When the waitress came by to take our plates out of the way, I asked if we could get a box for the left over chips and salsa while even using a circling hand motion above the scrumptious delicacy; concluding that I wanted all of it. Hence the general question of, “Can I get a box for the leftovers.” The waitress comes back with just a bag for the chips and proceeds to ask if I wanted a container for the salsa as well. Really?!?! Who wants to take home plain old tortilla chips without the salsa for one and two isn’t the salsa part of the leftovers that I so conveniently implied by making hand motions above the entire basket? Either this place is really stingy about giving their salsa away or the waitress is just a plain moron. I presume it’s the second statement.


Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

It Takes "All Types"

This weeks blog is brought to you by a follower of Common Sense Ain’t So Common. Not only has this follower experienced it but I have as well.

Most, if not all Post Offices have their own outdoor mailboxes and usually there are a row of them. Each one has a specific label on them pertaining to specific types of letters and usually one for “all types“; you know in case one gets too full. Well as this person is driving through to drop off some mail, a car in front of her goes to the mail box that is spewing out mail like it was a baby spitting up its’ food. The individual proceeds to try and stuff their own mail among the paper vomit instead of the open box right next to it that is labeled “all types.” The individual is taking the time to try and rearrange the paper puke so that their own mail will fit while the person behind her is thinking, “What the heck! Just go to the next mail box.” Another 15 seconds goes by and the individual is STILL trying to cram their mail in the full box while the “all types” box is staring the ignoramus right in the face. Finally, they give up on moving other fellow imbeciles mail to make their own fit perfectly and just leaves it the way it was and takes off. The car behind finally got to put their own mail in the “all types” box due to the fact that the one she was going to put it in was full!!! Go figure!

Common Sense Tip of The Week:

Just because everyone else does it, doesn’t mean you should follow because most likely it’s done without common sense.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

Let me get this straight

This weeks story comes from a friend of mine. He was a foreign exchange student my senior year of high school.

When I first got to a high school a kid came up to me and said, "So, I heard you were from Sweden."
I replied, "Yes."
His next question was, "What language do you speak in Sweden?"
I naturally said, "Swedish."
He paused for a while then asked, "So, do you speak Swedish?"
I hesitated...
(Wait for it)
(Wait for it)
(Wait for it)

"Yes."

Let me get this straight, Swedish is spoken in Sweden. Does that mean they speak Spanish in Spain? And German in Germany? Come on people, pay attention in school. And if you don't, use your common sense! Not to mention the fact that he had to ask if a person from Sweden spoke the language. In addition, most people from Europe speak several languages.

Until Next Time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

"There is such a thing as a dumb question when common sense isn't present"

I didn't know I had one........

As we enter the 10^th year post 9/11, we should all know by now that when you go to the airport, security will be all up in your space bubble. It’s a given. A group of people have ruined it for everyone causing security at the airport to never be the same. The minute it becomes lax again, another terrorist attack will inevitably happen. Therefore  going to the airport with any sort of weapon on you will land your dumb butt in jail; rightfully so for two specific reasons. One, for being stupid enough to do it in the first place. And two, for thinking you could get away with it in the see through security scanners!
 
Flier headed to Cuba held after gun found. Miami, Florida

A man headed to Cuba has been arrested at Miami International Airport after security screeners said they found a loaded gun in his fanny pack. Miami-Dade Police arrested 48-year-old Juan Manuel Baldoquin of West Palm Beach on charges of carrying a concealed weapon and grand theft of a firearm. He was being held on $10,000 bail.

Detective Javier Baez said a Transportation Security Administration screener spotted the outline of a gun while X-raying Baldoquin’s bag.

Baez said Baldoquin claimed he had forgotten the gun was in the bag. The gun had been reported stolen in 1996, and it was unclear why Baldoquin was carrying it.

Now, we don’t know about you, but this guy should get “STUPID” tattooed on his forehead for thinking that nothing would happen to him while carrying a gun through airport security. And for wearing a fanny pack; what is this, 1987? Who carries fanny packs now-a-days? Let’s be realistic here, he knew all along he had a loaded gun in his fanny pack. Guns aren’t feathers people.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
Csaintsc@gmail.com

The Denver Post (12/18/2010)

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” - Ana Teresa

Get out there and Vote!

This weeks blog is dedicated to an awesome lady; my grandma Dorothy, who passed away last week at the age of 87. She was a follower of Common Sense Ain't So Common. I know she got a kick out of our blog because she was a complete smart-ass and realist herself. She would tell you like it was, be as blunt as she could be and was respected for it even though it might not have been something you wanted to hear. In the end she was completely right. I love and miss you Grams. Leggy J

With 2010 over that means...you guessed it, all the nominees for the Darwin Awards are in. Head on over to www.darwinawards.com to read the top contenders and cast your votes. Our two personal favorites are Textbook Double Darwin and Glacier Erasure.

Textbook Double Darwin:

Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?

That's the whole picture: A young couple, driving along Via Dutra, the largest freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog. The couple decided that this was the time to park (for "dating" according to the charming Google translation) and, yes, they parked on the freeway in the right-hand lane, not on the shoulder, the median, or at a gas station. Naturally, given time a cargo truck encountered a "speed bump," instantly killing both -- during the act of procreation -- double-double Darwin Award! (2) people making (2) obviously bad decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing. Textbook!

Bahahaha, apparently the urge hit so hard that they had to stop mid lane to get it on. The least they could have done is pulled over to the shoulder. But I suppose if they had, there is a good chance that they would have had a baby. And if you are not smart enough to know that STOPPING on any highway is a bad idea, then you shouldn't be allowed to raise a child. What are you gonna teach the kid...that it's a-o-k to put your hand in a fire (reference to last week's blog). Clearly these two weren't meant to procreate and we are thankful for that!

Glacier Erasure:

Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.

In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.

Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.

Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, "Are you OK?"

"Yes!" came the answer.

Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.

There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.

Hmmm, I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes, so......JUMP! For all those with common sense, let's rewind this scenario. I'm standing on a cliff, my buddy just fell off, I ask if he is ok, he says yes. "What do you see?" "Can you move?" "Can you get back up?" "How can I help?" "Should I go get help?" Any variations of these questions should come to mind. But then we wouldn't have been stupid enough to jump off a cliff either, thus ridding the world of yet another barnacle head.

So what have we learned today?

1) Don't stop in the middle of the highway.

2) Don't jump off a cliff because someone tells you they are ok.

Until next time,

Zozo and Leggy J

csaintsc@gmail.com

"Look before you leap."

Cleaning While Lit

We are back!!!! We hope that everyone had a great holiday season and now it's time for more ridiculousness.

The person in this story has got to be one of the dumbest morons we have ever read about, which is why we have picked it for our first entry of the new year.

Cleaning lit fireplace lands man in hospital. Colorado Springs

     A man who tried to clean his natural gas fireplace while it was still lit, nearly roasted himself over an open fire. He was hospitalized with second degree burns. 
     Colorado Springs fire authorities say the unnamed man received facial burns after using an aerosol cleaner on the lit fireplace. Three other people inside the house weren't injured.

Ah, did anyone else learn that aerosol cleaners are highly flammable? I mean, that is something we learned at the ripe old age of two. And if you didn't learn that, did the giant highly flammable symbol not mean anything? (Just in case, by some off chance, you have never seen the symbol, below we have included a picture) How is this man impervious to the fact that AEROSOL is highly FLAMMABLE?!? One other thing, why on earth would anyone in their right mind think, "Hey, while I've got this hot, burning fire going, I might clean the fireplace." Maybe he noticed how dirty it was with all the light emanating from the fire. We don't know about all of you, but he is a parasite of the human race. The lack of common sense in this man is completely and utterly baffling. If this man has proliferated, Lord help us all. We are taking donations to get him a vasectimy asap! If this guy isn't the epitome of stupidity, we don't know what is.

Until next time,
Zozo and Leggy J
csaintsc@gmail.com

Story: The Denver Post, (12/18/2010)
Picture: explainthatstuff.com